Empowering Women

I am all for empowering women. However, I’m not going to fit society’s labels.

I like comfy.

I wear t-shirts, sweats, flip flops.

My hair is usually up in some messy bun and often, is a variety of colors.

I rarely wear make-up. When I do it’s just hints of colors to bring out the natural colors in my eyes.

I have freckles, scars and tattoos. Every single “imperfection” is a reflection of the life I’ve lead and the choices I’ve made.

I don’t have pretty, long nails. I love to paint them, but often the color chips off and I’ve got dirt under my nails.

I haven’t worn high heels in a decade. But, I LOVE my knee-high suede (flat) boots.

I believe I have every right to be successful, but I define what success is. 

I believe I have every right to be rich, but I define what rich is.

I have no issue with cleaning, cooking, doing the laundry or driving the kids around to friends or places. Because it needs to be done, not because it’s a “woman’s job”

I have no issue with letting my man hold the door open, change a light bulb or drive when we go somewhere. Not because it’s a man’s job, but because honestly, it’s nice to let someone else do those things.

I have no problem being the “weaker” sex because honestly, sometimes I can’t carry some shit on my own and my hands are not large enough or wide enough to open the damn pickle jar.

I also have no problem doing some things that, according to society, my man should do like take out the trash, check the oil in my car or change a flat tire. I’m available. I’m capable. So why the hell wouldn't I do it? If I didn’t have a man in my life, wouldn’t I have to know these things OR know where to go to get these things done?


Sometimes, I think we as a people get so caught up in a cause, a statement, a mission and we say we don’t want to be stereotyped, but in reality we’ve just changed the type of group we’re classified in.

When I was in the dating world, after my divorce, I was often told I was different. Most men were excited about that, but then flaked off because they were intimidated or lacked the confidence to date a woman like me.

The thing is...I don’t need a man. Not because I’m all girl-power and stuff.

But because as a human being that has had to learn to make it on their own, I can do what needs to be done. If it’s something I can’t do, then I find someone with the skill to do it.

I learned and accepted my limitations.
I drew strengths from my accomplishments.
I expanded my circle of influence.
I invested in myself; personal development, skill sets and communication skills.

Once I realized what I needed, what I didn’t, the funniest most wonderful things happened.

The right man for me was suddenly in my inbox.

People tell me I’m lucky.

I’m not lucky. The definition of luck: success or failure apparently brought by chance rather than through one's own actions.

No. My actions brought this man into my life. Because until I was able to stand on my own two feet, use the brain cells between my ears and believe that I was good enough...all I found was insecure, un-confident, wishy-washy men and even some of my friends.

I am blessed.
I am fortunate.
I am strong.
I am confident.
And yes, I am woman.

And my message to society (if I bothered to acknowledge them at all): Don’t bother trying to fit me in to one of your “classifications”.

That’s like trying to fit a star-shape into a circle hole.

Not. Happening.

There is someone who read this and it hit home.

Either you are trying to figure it all out, or have & were afraid you were the only one.

I’m looking for my tribe.

People that are like me, but are also uniquely themselves.

People looking for a place where they can shine brightly, and don’t give a f-k if they fit the “norm”.

To me...that is how you EMPOWER WOMEN. 

Give them the freedom to be themselves, and the support they need when society tries to mess with them.

Cause, honestly, we ALL need support.

You can do this on your own, but no need to do it alone.

I’m here.
I’m waiting for you.
I've got you.

Love,
Joy

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