Tuesday, May 31, 2016

My Ultimate Truth

The one thing that has helped me the most to get to where I am today is:

Personal development.

More specifically, MINDSET.

I believe that whatever you think about, you bring about.  That no matter what is troubling you; no matter what the obstacles are, a simple shift in mindset can make all the difference.

Here's what I believe about mindset:

If you believe in something, you commit to it and stand by it.
If you think you can or cannot do something, you are right.
If you worry about the worst case scenario, chances are that you willl receive some form of that scenario.
If you stress over bills, finances, or anything that you can control, you cause yourself to block solutions to your problem because your focus is ON the problem itself.
If you are anxious or worried about things you can NOT control, you cause yourself a feeling of hopelessness, desperation and defeat.

My ultimate truth?  I am where I am today because I believed I could be here.  Some things I don't have control over.  Those things I must release.  The things I do have control over, however, are the things that I need to focus on so that I can create solutions to the "problems" I have created for myself.

The problems that I HAVE CREATED FOR MYSELF.

Taking ownership and responsibility for where I am is half the battle.

I promised to make payments that I failed to make.
I chose to live outside my means.
I chose not to get a second job.
I chose to pay for other people's financial responsibilities and neglected my own.
I indulged in fast food, entertainment and other things that sucked up my money.
I chose to find excuses why my business wouldn't work.
I procrastinated and didn't do the work I knew I needed to do.

I chose the life I have now.

The MINDSET flip?

I CHOOSE to take action in my business.
I CHOOSE to work with my creditors.
I CHOOSE to budget my time and money better.
I CHOOSE to consult a financial professional.
I CHOOSE to indulge only when I have budgeted for it.
I CHOOSE to not pay for anyone else's bills besides my own, unless I've budgeted for them.

When you CHOOSE to do something, you own the decision.  You mentally commit to doing what you've chosen to do.

I cannot control the increase in gas prices.  I can control wasting gas by letting the car run unnecessarily

I cannot control the finance rate on a loan, or the late fees.  I can control when I pay my bills and by paying early or on time, those additional fees are a non-issue.

My ultimate truth is that no matter what is going on in life, a shift in mindset can drastically change the course I am on.

The thing is, mindset or LOA or personal development is nothing but words; a theory, unless there is ACTION.

The choice is ALWAYS yours.  You just have to choose what you can control and what you will do about it.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.



Go make some changes today!


Monday, May 30, 2016

What It Takes to Create a Life You Love

What I believe it takes to create a life you love is decide what you want, commit to doing what it takes and be willing to seek help when you need it.

In order to create a life you love, you need to CHOOSE to do so.  You must make the choices yourself, otherwise you won’t be able to stick to the plan.  

Too many of us seek answers from outside of ourselves.  We look to friends, family, co-workers, significant others, competitors, social media and so on, for a clue as to what we want.  

When, in reality, you already know what you want.  Deep down, you have strong desires, big dreams, hopes, aspirations; you know what you want but maybe you fear not achieving it.

So, what do you want?  Write out every single you want, no matter how big or how small it is.  Do you want to find your soulmate, have a child, change careers, move into a new home, work less but make more money…what do YOU want?

See, I have a list of things I want.  And perhaps, just like you, I dream of living a life that is different than what I see right now.  And maybe, like you, I occasionally let obstacles get in the way and tell myself that I can’t have what I want.  

Until I take a step back and realize,in that moment, that I’m not completely happy.  I’m not fulfilled.  I’m not living my life with a purpose or passion.  Sometimes, those outside influences are kind of helpful, because they cause a reality check.  

When a friend says that they feel bad for me because of all the strife and stress I’ve been under, it makes me stop and think, “Well, if they can see it, maybe then it’s time to do something differently.”

That’s when you set a new chain of events in motion.  That is when shit needs to get real.  

I’m in control of MY life; more specifically, my actions, reactions, plans, decisions, etc.  I may not be able to control the things around me, but I sure as hell can take control over the things that I do each and every day.

So, then we go to the list.  Take each thing and reflect on it a bit.  How can I make this become a reality?  What step can I take TODAY to move in that direction.  

Because action leads to progress, you see.  And progress is moving forward.  For example, I will become a six-figure income earner by the end of this year (see the wording? It’s important. WILL is intentionally).  So, what action steps can I take TODAY to move me in that direction?  Create a new program?  Connect with new clients?  Offer freebies to get my ideal clients attention?  Yep, these are all things I can do to make progress towards my goal.

Now, it’s liberating to get started but the key here is to continue forward.  Consistency is crucial.  Every single day, I need to do some work that will take me in the direction I want to go.  It’s not enough to make a choice to get started, but you have to plug away every single day.  Keep doing the actions needed to get where you want to go.  AND, make sure you adjust, each day, accordingly.  Something didn’t work yesterday, try it again today, but tweak it a little if needed.  Just keep moving forward.

I’m not great with consistency.  I admit it.  Taking vitamins, working out, blogging, etc.  BUT, I recognize it and try to do what I can to change that.  Set an alarm on my phone to do a task at a certain time every single day until it becomes habit.  

Because in the long run, I WANT THE RESULTS that will come from consistent action.  I CRAVE the results.  I DESERVE the results.  Don’t YOU????

Also, seeking help when needed is a tough, but important element.  If you can’t do something, you need to reach out and find someone who IS doing it successfully AND is willing to help you.  It can be mundane things like paying bills, answering emails, picking up the dry cleaning…or as big as marketing and advertising, accounting, hiring employees or whatever, for your business.

So, I believe that it takes decision, commitment, action, consistency and seeking out help; to create a life you love.  What about you?

Your life is an occasion my friend. Rise to it!



Thursday, May 26, 2016

It's Not the End of the World

When life gets out of control, it's so easy to let the tough times consume your thoughts. But, does it help?

One of my children is going through a rough time.  They're dealing with a lot of stress and feel overwhelmed.  As a parent, I want to do everything I can to help.  As someone who remembers her teen years well, I want my child to know that it really is going to be okay.

Got me to thinking about perspective.  When you're a teen, there are events and upsets that feel like the end of the world.  But, someone who has lived through similar situations can easily say that it will be okay.  But for the person in the moment, it really feels worse and its hard to see beyond what's happening.

As an adult, I've been through sine really challenging times.  And I've felt like I'd never get behind the moments that held me in an emotional tornado.  But, when I put things in perspective, I began to see the future.

See, even though I was temporarily homeless, I had to be thankful because other people have been homeless for many years.

Even though I struggled to pay my car payments, I had to be thankful I had a car, as many people don't.

Even though I had a ton of bills, I had to be thankful that I want dealing with a foreclosure or bankruptcy and that I had a job.

Most of the challenges people face are not permanent.  It's not the end of the world.  There may be pain and disappointment and challenges, but if you can get some perspective on the situation, then you can also open up to new solutions.

  • Take one day at a time.
  • Be thankful for what you have.
  • Keep focused on what you want.
  • Do the best you can, With what you have, where you are.

It'll be okay my friend.  Today is a new day.  Make the best of it.


The most important relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself. Invest in YOU because only you can create a life you love.



Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Learning to Move On...

Learning to move on...

It's not an easy thing to do.  Leaving behind what you know.  Who you know.  The places you know.  No one welcomes change very easily.  Especially when you don't feel that the change is of your own choosing.

When you leave a relationship, romantic or friendly, it hurts.  All that you know is not the same anymore.

When you leave a job, it's challenging.  Whether you quit or were fired, you feel insecurity and frustration.

The unknown looms and it's a hella scary thing.

Here's some advice I've learned and live by:

  • Keep your focus forward.  Not on where you are, but on where you want to go.
  • Create new habits.  That situation may have become a huge part of who you are, so it's not easy.  But, forming new habits will slowly change the "norm" for you and that's a good thing.
  • Crowd out the old with what you love to do.  If you're hurting and feel lonely, find healthy outlets to fill that need.  One that make you feel good inside and lift you up.
  • Take it one day at a time; one baby step at a time.

Like I said in a previous post... Do the best you can, with what you have, where you are.

Believe in YOU.
Love YOU.
Do right by YOU.

You're meant to shine my friend.  Bring out that inner superstar and SHINE.

This post is dedicate to AM, GM and every other woman out there dealing with shit.


The most important relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself. Invest in YOU because only you can create a life you love.



Thursday, May 19, 2016

Do The Best You Can...

Do The Best You Can, 

With What You Have, 

Where You Are

One of my favorite sayings, based on the quote by Theodore Roosevelt. 

When life spirals out of your control, there's only so much you can do.

I've accepted that things happen in my life that will be painful, and that I cannot control what others do.  I can only control my own reactions, behaviors, words, thoughts...

So, every day I remind myself, "Joy, do the best that you can, with what you have, where you are."  It is harder some days than others.  
And once in awhile it feels IMPOSSIBLE.  But what I've also found is that if I focus on what I need to do, the goals I have for myself, it gets easier to do the best I can.

This week has been rough for me.  A lot of emotional pain and suffering, but I choose to move forward.  I get up and put my feet on the ground, just like every other day.  I get up and get going, because it's what needs to be done.  

I'm no superwoman.  I'm just a woman.

For quite awhile, I held a close relationship to someone who recently destroyed it with their behavior and deception.  When you give trust and respect to another person, in any kind of relationship, and they hurt you, it's painful.  

Out of pain, can come growth.  
Out of hurt, can come healing.  
Out of a bad experience, can come understanding and empathy.
Out of the storm, the sunlight will shine.

As long as you know you're giving it your all...take comfort in that.
As long as you appreciate what remains...be blessed by that.
As long as you know where you are now isn't where you will stay...see hope in that.

Out of my personal situation, comes new, beautiful things.

Whatever you' may be facing, just do the best you can my friend.