Tuesday, May 31, 2016

My Ultimate Truth



The one thing that has helped me the most to get to where I am today is:

Personal development.

More specifically, MINDSET.

I believe that whatever you think about, you bring about.  That no matter what is troubling you; no matter what the obstacles are, a simple shift in mindset can make all the difference.

Here's what I believe about mindset:

If you believe in something, you commit to it and stand by it.
If you think you can or cannot do something, you are right.
If you worry about the worst case scenario, chances are that you willl receive some form of that scenario.
If you stress over bills, finances, or anything that you can control, you cause yourself to block solutions to your problem because your focus is ON the problem itself.
If you are anxious or worried about things you can NOT control, you cause yourself a feeling of hopelessness, desperation and defeat.

My ultimate truth?  I am where I am today because I believed I could be here.  Some things I don't have control over.  Those things I must release.  The things I do have control over, however, are the things that I need to focus on so that I can create solutions to the "problems" I have created for myself.

The problems that I HAVE CREATED FOR MYSELF.

Taking ownership and responsibility for where I am is half the battle.

I promised to make payments that I failed to make.
I chose to live outside my means.
I chose not to get a second job.
I chose to pay for other people's financial responsibilities and neglected my own.
I indulged in fast food, entertainment and other things that sucked up my money.
I chose to find excuses why my business wouldn't work.
I procrastinated and didn't do the work I knew I needed to do.

I chose the life I have now.

The MINDSET flip?

I CHOOSE to take action in my business.
I CHOOSE to work with my creditors.
I CHOOSE to budget my time and money better.
I CHOOSE to consult a financial professional.
I CHOOSE to indulge only when I have budgeted for it.
I CHOOSE to not pay for anyone else's bills besides my own, unless I've budgeted for them.

When you CHOOSE to do something, you own the decision.  You mentally commit to doing what you've chosen to do.

I cannot control the increase in gas prices.  I can control wasting gas by letting the car run unnecessarily

I cannot control the finance rate on a loan, or the late fees.  I can control when I pay my bills and by paying early or on time, those additional fees are a non-issue.

My ultimate truth is that no matter what is going on in life, a shift in mindset can drastically change the course I am on.

The thing is, mindset or LOA or personal development is nothing but words; a theory, unless there is ACTION.

The choice is ALWAYS yours.  You just have to choose what you can control and what you will do about it.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
TRUE?

Yep.

Go make some changes today!

Joy

PS:  I have a Women's Mindset group on Facebook that I would love to have you join.  That is, if you like what you see on my blog.

Monday, May 30, 2016

What It Takes to Create a Life You Love





What I believe it takes to create a life you love is decide what you want, commit to doing what it takes and be willing to seek help when you need it.

In order to create a life you love, you need to CHOOSE to do so.  You must make the choices yourself, otherwise you won’t be able to stick to the plan.  Too many of us seek answers from outside of ourselves.  We look to friends, family, co-workers, significant others, competitors, social media and so on, for a clue as to what we want.  When, in reality, you already know what you want.  Deep down, you have strong desires, big dreams, hopes, aspirations; you know what you want but maybe you fear not achieving it.

So, what do you want?  Write out every single you want, no matter how big or how small it is.  Do you want to find your soulmate, have a child, change careers, move into a new home, work less but make more money…what do YOU want?

See, I have a list of things I want.  And perhaps, just like you, I dream of living a life that is different than what I see right now.  And maybe, like you, I occasionally let obstacles get in the way and tell myself that I can’t have what I want.  

Until I take a step back and realize that I’m not happy.  I’m not fulfilled.  I’m not living my life with a purpose or passion.  Sometimes, those outside influences are kind of helpful, because they cause a reality check.  

When a friend says that they feel bad for me because of all the strife and stress I’ve been under, it makes me stop and think, “Well, if they can see it, maybe then it’s time to do something differently.”


That’s when you set a new chain of events in motion.  That is when shit needs to get real.  I’m in control of MY life; more specifically, my actions, reactions, plans, decisions, etc.  I may not be able to control the things around me, but I sure as hell can take control over the things that I do each and every day.

So, then we go to the list.  Take each thing and reflect on it a bit.  How can I make this become a reality?  What step can I take TODAY to move in that direction.  Because action leads to progress, you see.  And progress is moving forward.  For example, I will become a six-figure income earner by the end of this year (see the wording? It’s important. WILL is intentionally).  So, what action steps can I take TODAY to move me int hat direction?  Create a new program?  Connect with new clients?  Offer freebies to get my ideal clients attention?  Yep, these are all things I can do to make progress towards my goal.

Now, it’s liberating to get started but the key here is to continue forward.  Consistency is crucial.  Every single day, I need to do some work that will take me in the direction I want to go.  It’s not enough to make a choice to get started, but you have to plug away every single day.  Keep doing the actions needed to get where you want to go.  AND, make sure you adjust, each day, accordingly.  Something didn’t work yesterday, try it again today, but tweak it a little if needed.  Just keep moving forward.

I’m not great with consistency.  I admit it.  Taking vitamins, working out, blogging, etc.  BUT, I recognize it and try to do what I can to change that.  Set an alarm on my phone to do a task at a certain time every single day until it becomes habit.  Because in the long run, I WANT THE RESULTS that will come from consistent action.  I CRAVE the results.  I DESERVE the results.
Don’t YOU????

Also, seeking help when needed is a tough, but important element.  If you can’t do something, you need to reach out and find someone who IS doing it successfully AND is willing to help you.  It can be mundane things like paying bills, answering emails, picking up the dry cleaning…or as big as marketing and advertising, accounting, hiring employees or whatever, for your business.

So, I believe that it takes decision, commitment, action, consistency and seeking out help; to create a life you love.  What about you?

Your life is an occasion my friend. Rise to it!


Joy

Sunday, May 29, 2016

It's (un)Offiicial! Summer is Here!

For those of you that don't know, I live at the Jersey Shore.  And this weekend is the UN official start to summer.

That means lots of tourists and non-locals flooding our stores, our roads and our beaches.  And, as much as it can be a total hassle, as a local, I'm not complaining.  After all, it's how the businesses in the area make their living.

It's how employees get summer jobs or make better tips.

It's how we get the local government to FINALLY fix those roads or that bridge.

It's how we boost the economy in our area.

And, I'm sure the locals in other places, maybe even some of the towns that these people have come from, feel other times of the year.

So, before you get impatient with the long lines, the crazy drivers and the jacked up gas prices....take a minute to consider that these tourists helps YOU, as a local.  And, someday YOU will be the tourist in someone else's town.

Be kind.
Be patient.
Be respectful.
Be grateful.

BE the new image of the Jersey Shore.

And for those visiting an area that is NOT your hometown...it's the same.

Be kind.
Be patient.
Be respectful.
Be grateful.

And, let's all take a minute to show Mother Earth some respect.  Throw your trash in the garbage can, put your butt out in an ashtray, mind the local laws and traffic signs.

Have an amazing summer my friends!


Joy

Thursday, May 26, 2016

It's Not the End of the World

When life gets out of control, it's so easy to let the tough times consume your thoughts. But, does it help?

One of my children is going through a rough time.  They're dealing with a lot of stress and feel overwhelmed.  As a parent, I want to do everything I can to help.  As someone who remembers her teen years well, I want my child to know that it really is going to be okay.

Got me to thinking about perspective.  When you're a teen, there are events and upsets that feel like the end of the world.  But, someone who has lived through similar situations can easily say that it will be okay.  But for the person in the moment, it really feels worse and its hard to see beyond what's happening.

As an adult, I've been through sine really challenging times.  And I've felt like I'd never get behind the moments that held me in an emotional tornado.  But, when I put things in perspective, I began to see the future.

See, even though I was temporarily homeless, I had to be thankful because other people have been homeless for many years.

Even though I struggled to pay my car payments, I had to be thankful I had a car, as many people don't.

Even though I had a ton of bills, I had to be thankful that I want dealing with a foreclosure or bankruptcy and that I had a job.

Most of the challenges people face are not permanent.  It's not the end of the world.  There may be pain and disappointment and challenges, but if you can get some perspective on the situation, then you can also open up to new solutions.

Take one day at a time.
Be thankful for what you have.
Keep focused on what you want.
Do the best you can,
With what you have,
where you are.

It'll be okay my friend.  Today is a new day.  Make the best of it.

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Learning to Move On...

Learning to move on...


It's not an easy thing to do.  Leaving behind what you know.  Who you know.  The places you know.  No one welcomes change very easily.  Especially when you don't feel that the change is of your own choosing.

When you leave a relationship, romantic or friendly, it hurts.  All that you know is not the same anymore.

When you leave a job, it's challenging.  Whether you quit or were fired, you feel insecurity and frustration.

The unknown looms and it's a hella scary thing.

Here's some advice I've learned and live by:


  • Keep your focus forward.  Not on where you are, but on where you want to go.
  • Create new habits.  That situation may have become a huge part of who you are, so it's not easy.  But, forming new habits will slowly change the "norm" for you and that's a good thing.
  • Crowd out the old with what you love to do.  If you're hurting and feel lonely, find healthy outlets to fill that need.  One that make you feel good inside and lift you up.
  • Take it one day at a time; one baby step at a time.

Like I said in a previous post... Do the best you can, with what you have, where you are.

Believe in YOU.
Love YOU.
Do right by YOU.

You're meant to shine my friend.  Bring out that inner superstar and SHINE.

This post is dedicate to AM, GM and every other woman out there dealing with shit.

Love you!!!

Joy

Thursday, May 19, 2016

Do The Best You Can...

Do The Best You Can, 

With What You Have, 

Where You Are




One of my favorite sayings, based on the quote by Theodore Roosevelt. 

When life spirals out of your control, there's only so much you can do.
I've accepted that things happen in my life that will be painful, and that I cannot control what others do.  I can only control my own reactions, behaviors, words, thoughts...

So, every day I remind myself, "Joy, do the best that you can, with what you have, where you are."  It is harder some days than others.  And once in awhile it feels IMPOSSIBLE.  But what I've also found is that if I focus on what I need to do, the goals I have for myself, it gets easier to do the best I can.

This week has been rough for me.  A lot of emotional pain and suffering, but I choose to move forward.  I get up and put my feet on the ground, just like every other day.  I get up and get going, because it's what needs to be done.  I'm no superwoman.  I'm just a woman.

For quite awhile, I held a close relationship to someone who recently destroyed it with their behavior and deception.  When you give trust and respect to another person, in any kind of relationship, and they hurt you, it's painful.  But, out of pain, can come growth.  Out of hurt, can come healing.  Out of a bad experience, can come understanding and empathy.  Out of the storm, the sunlight will shine.

As long as you know you're giving it your all...take comfort in that.
As long as you appreciate what remains...be blessed by that.
As long as you know where you are now isn't where you will stay...see hope in that.

Out of my personal situation, comes new, beautiful things.

Whatever you' may be facing, just do the best you can my friend.

<3

Joy

Sunday, May 15, 2016

It's Just Like Fire

That's how relationships can be. Burn bright and hot after careful stoking.  But if they're aren't continually fed, the fire simmers and eventually goes out.

How to feed the fire?

Honesty.
Respect.
Trust.
Intimacy.
Quality time.
Quality conversations.
Open communication.

And you need all of these things.  Like a fire needs oxygen and wood of different sizes.  Without one our the elements, your fire will not be as good as you desire. And, in time, will fizzle out.

Take a minute and consider what you can change or improve in your relationship, today, that will feed the fire between you two.

It's in the small things that we find big impact and huge results.

Enjoy your Sunday friends.

Love and Blessings,
Joy

Saturday, May 14, 2016

It's A War Zone

It's A War Zone


I could be talking about a LOT of things, right?

Relationships
Career
Finances
Parenting
Politics
Weather
Family
Evening rush hour...


...that's LIFE, right?

But, I'm actually referring to your mind.  What you think about.  What you believe.  What influences you.  What you see, hear, read, listen to and so on.


The biggest battle you will ever fight is in your own head. 
And, you're not alone.  We all go through it at some point.  Maybe daily.  Maybe hourly.  Maybe minute by minute.

If you don't feed your mind regularly with supportive thoughts, you may find that the outer influences make a greater impact on you.  It is a necessity to watch what influences you and ensure that the things that you allow in your mind, are productive, constructive and helpful to reach the outcomes you desire.

If not, your mind...and emotions too...will always be at war.  Some things will resonate with you, but others will cause conflict.

I want you to do this:

Go to a quiet place where you will not be disturbed for a few minutes (bathroom, closet, car...)

Set a timer (you can use your cell phone, alarm clock or kitchen timer) for 10 minutes.

Sit or stand, head up, shoulders back and take a few deep breaths.

Think about ONE thing that you've been trying to achieve, but have been struggling.

What has your biggest obstacle been with this goal?

Who has been responsible for this obstacle?

Why do you believe that?

What choices have YOU made?

What is your responsibility here?

What is ONE step YOU can take TODAY to change the course you are currently on?

NOW...do it!  Before you go to bed today, make sure you have gotten it DONE.  If it's too big to do in one day, then break it down into smaller steps that you can do daily until you've completed that step.

And, really feel the accomplishment of achieving that step.  Make sure that you keep that feeling close to your heart and surround yourself with only the people and things that align with this feeling.

I'd love to hear your feedback on this exercise!
Make sh*t happen today my friend!

Joy

PS:  If you are ready to make some changes, BUT need some coaching, click on the "Work With Joy" tab at the top of this page.  Can't wait to hear from you.


Friday, May 13, 2016

Small Actions Can Lead to HUGE Results...

Small Actions Can Lead to HUGE Results...


...but you need to make the right small actions.

If you take small steps down the street, but don't know where to go, or if you go left instead of right, you'll end up somewhere different than you had intended.

My mission is to help YOU take the small action steps that will lead you where you want to go and to do it right now.

I invite you to join my group coaching class.  It is 4 weeks that will transform your life.  Because when you make small action, focused in the RIGHT direction, nothing will ever be the same!


CLASSES START TUESDAY, Check out the details HERE

And, here is a video to inspire you to get moving!


https://youtu.be/5Nrv5teMc9Y

"Nobody can be just like me, anyway."

See you in class!

Thursday, May 12, 2016

It's Coming Very Soon

Coming on Tuesday May 17, 2016...


I am opening the doors to my new group coaching class "Transform Your Life in 4 Weeks"

Once a week we will get on the phone, go through an intense lesson and then you will be given some action steps to do on your own time.

All calls will be recorded so you can listen to the replay at your convenience and to help guide you through the action steps.

DETAILS HERE: Click here


Super excited to share this with you and see you in the group!!

Joy

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Orange is the New Black

Orange is the New Black




Let me tell you, I hadn't even heard of the series until last year.  At that point, we bought the DVDs for Season 1 & Season 2 and I just LOVED IT!  There hasn't been a DVD set for Season 3 and I'm not happy about that one bit.  LOL

One thing that always popped into my mind, when watching the show was:

How would I handle it, if for some reason, I ended up in prison?

You may know, I've always had a pretty positive outlook on life.  But, every episode, I began to doubt I'd make it a day in a place like that.  How to handle yourself, how to protect yourself, how to handle others and how to keep your mouth shut when you see shit or it happens to you.

WHOA.

I am grateful for the life I have and that I don't have to spend my time in that environment.  My heart goes out to the women that are locked away from their children and other loved ones.  I know that many people realize their mistakes after it's too late, and wish they could un-do the things they've done.  On the "outside" we have the luxury of making amends and making changes that will create a better future for ourselves.

We also can take for granted the liberties we have...something as simple as a hot shower and clean clothes.  Not to mention a decent meal.

Orange is the New Black is a great show.  I know it's dramatized and I've spoken with people that have enlightened me as to the realities of that environment; a situation too many people have experienced.  I enjoy it immensely but I do try to keep in the back of my mind, that real people deal with this.  Real people probably inspired the show.  Real women that made decisions and choices they can't take back.  That's gotta really mess with your head.  Your heart.  Your health.

My thoughts today are:

Do the best you can.
Follow the law.
Be careful who you surround yourself with.
Be aware of what influences you.
Get help with addiction if you need to.
Get help to make better decisions.
Be grateful for what you have.
Be loving to those close to you.
Don't take a single day for granted.

and above all...enjoy life.  It's way too precious to lose!

Joy

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

You Gotta Live in the Forward

You Gotta Live in the Forward 

From the movie I posted below, these are the things that stuck out to me.  The thoughts, the words, the phrases that SHOUTED to me.


Take 30 minutes and be in a quiet place and IMAGINE.

Do it DAILY.

You have to see the person you want to become. Who is she in 10 years? In 20 years?


Don't focus on the now or the how.

Focus forward to the woman you will become.

One day, is going to be your day. Believe it.  See it.

Have FAITH in it.

You may not see it just yet, but if you believe it, it will come.

FAIL FORWARD.

 Every mistake, setback and challenge is an opportunity to learn and move forward.

If you lose your job, your money, your business...

DO NOT GIVE UP.

You will only reach your goals and dreams if you use your imagination.

KEEP. MOVING. FORWARD.

Fear is a CHOICE.  Fear exists, yes.  But, if you let it own you, that is your choice.

You can choose differently.


Your life is an occasion; RISE TO IT

Joy

This Is A Test

This Is A Test

MEANDJULES

Life is full of tests.  I think that every day, we face some kind of test.  Whether it's to see if we are committed to what we believe or to who we love or a test of our character.  Everything in this life seems to be a test.

The other day, I was stressed.  An idea came to mind and all of a sudden I was running full force after that idea.  I literally dropped everything to pursue the concept.  It made total sense.  I did the web page, the email, the graphics, etc.  I was feeling like it was the right thing for me and it would yield the results I craved.

Then...BAM.  It hit me.

A traditional business is said to take 3-5 years to become profitable.  And, many businesses fail before they hit that mark.  I did the math, figured out the start-up costs and the business plan for the next 3-5 years.  I would work about 16 hours, trekking around town to make a couple hundred dollars a day.  I started to work on the schedule and realized that at no point would I be flexible enough to see my kids.  I believe in the idea, and I think it's a needed service in the area.

BUT...

The one thing I want most in this world is to be a F/T work at home mom.  And, the concept I came up with created the exact opposite scenario.  It may put money in my pocket daily, but in the long run, I'd lose time with my kids.  And, when I calculated each child's age, plus 3-5 years of me barely seeing them...I CRIED.

Those calculations meant that 3 of my 5 children would be on to college or beyond.  I'd barely get any time with them then, that's for sure.  And, the youngest two, would be in school full time, one of them would be a teen!

Nope.  I was making a grave mistake.  It literally gave me chest pains.

So, I'm considering it a test.  Yes, I chased the shiny object for a couple of days.  But, when I sat back and really thought about the end result I wanted to create, I realized that the path I had been on just a few days ago, was the RIGHT one for me.  I would be able to provide a valuable service that is needed, and at the same time own my own business, create time and financial freedom, all while being the F/T mom I desire.

If you feel that the path you are on, isn't quite right....don't beat yourself up about it.  And, don't stay on that path.  Look at what end result you crave, desire, need, want...and find the path that leads to THAT end result.  It's only a test...and it's a learning & growing experience.

Create a life you love by allowing your passion and purpose to guide you to the path of your heart.

Remember...

Your life is an occasion; rise to it!
Joy

Reset Your Mindset

Reset Your Mindset


Reset Your MIndset (1)


Sometimes, it is hard to get out of a certain frame of mind.  If you are upset or worried about something, it seems to snowball and everything goes "wrong."

Times like that, I need to reset my mindset.  I have to start journaling or listening to encouraging & inspiring music.  I need to intentionally shift my emotions from upset, angry or frustration to grateful, thankful or creative.

It's not always easy to make a quick shift, so the key is to continuously surround yourself with positive energy, people, words and thoughts until the shift happens.  Read daily affirmations or a book that you enjoy.  Watch a comedy or a few videos that make you smile and make your heart feel at peace.

Do it with intention so that you can go from a negative place to a positive one.  Everyone has different "go-to" songs, books, movies; methods that will make them feel good.

Then, go back to whatever you were doing that frustrated you and see if you can't approach it from a better place.